how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
