I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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