It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
