Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
