Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize