i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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