did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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