I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
