i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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