I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
