she was so not down for the gang bang
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
