you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
