One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just high enough for therapy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
