return my video game
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
