How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
