They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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