If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize