i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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