We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
