So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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