Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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