where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick