im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning