At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.