no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.