I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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