do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car