Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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