Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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