Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
