My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
