Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
