I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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