I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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