Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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