forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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