I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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