ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
