have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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