Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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