We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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