i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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