Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
