i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We need a shit load of segways right now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
