Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
