that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
