You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
