We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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