Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
