i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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