Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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