she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
