Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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