at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
