It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
