I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i came on her dog
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
