hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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