do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
