I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
