She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
