At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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