What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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