How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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