i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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