do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
